Thursday, September 27, 2012

I should have my body back right?

Ever feel like after baby is no longer a newborn, people expect you to look as good(or better) as the day you got pregnant? Well I do! Maybe it's me being hyper sensitive and slightly dramatic but I feel this pressure that I need to be completely back to normal.

I have to CONSTANTLY remind myself that it has only been two-and-a-half months since having Maverick and I'm not going to be super model slim, have a six pack and a rockin,toned butt (not that I had these before, haha).

After my last post, I could not lose ANY weight! Like none! I was stuck at 125 for weeks. At six weeks I began running three or four times a week and I was seeing no results. After three weeks and the scale would not change, I gave up and decided to just be happy with that weight. I was feeling so frustrated and fat that I knew I needed to stop worrying about a stupid number on a stupid scale. I almost deleted this blog I was so annoyed by thoughts of weight loss (which I'm still debating about deleting since I have another blog and I am trying to figure out why to continue this blog when I'm not pregnant). I picked up yoga instead, a story for another post.

And then I went the other extreme. I have ate worse these past two weeks than I have in a long time. I'm talking a giant bowl of icecream with lots of chocolate syrup before bed, cookies for lunch and bags of candy, bought from WINCO candy bins, for snacking. Horrible. Absolutely horrible. And then guess what happened over these last two weeks of the worst diet ever?

I lost FOUR freaking pounds!

Like what the heck?!? I don't even know what to do with myself now. A part of me wants to rush to the store and buy every kind of candy I can think of, cause this diet is totally working! But another part of me(a very small but smart part) wants to buy broccoli and bananas in hopes of fixing what I've done to my heart and arteries.

I'm happy about losing those four pounds but I wanted it to be something I can be proud of instead of, "hey, I totally lost four pounds from eating garbage. Awesome right?".

Well here's to another six pounds that I hope to lose a little healthier.