Writing a Birth Plan

Birth plans are an excellent way to prepare yourself for labor. Although I don't think they are necessary to bring with you to the hospital, I definitely recommend writing one at home. I didn't have one written out for my first son, but I had one mentally in place without even realizing it. It was experiencing labor the first time, that helped me write out what I wanted the next time. Everyone has ideas of what they want to have happen in the delivery room, and whether your birth is all natural, a C-section, or at home, you can still have a birth plan in place.

My first Birth Plan Was Something Like This
-Go to hospital at first signs of Labor
-Get epidural when I start to feel pain
- Labor pain free
-Push Baby Out
-Scott cuts cord
-Breastfeed

When I decided to get induced, my birth plan went like this instead
-Arrive at hospital at 7:00
-Have my water broken
-Get Pitocin if my labor does not progress
-Receive epidural when I am dilated to a 5
-Have baby
-Scott cuts cord
-Breast Feed

With Maverick my Birth Plan Was This
-Do not get induced until 41 weeks
-Have membranes stripped at 38 weeks
-No Pitocin unless necessary
-Go to hospital when contractions hurt and are 3-5 minutes apart
-Get epidural
-Scott cuts cord
-Breast feed immediately after delivery
-No binkies
-No formula
-No bottles
-Lots of stool softener!

As you can see, my birth plan was focused on having success at breastfeeding, and it took Lincoln's birth to help me create it. I did not bring it with me to the hospital, as I knew what I wanted and also knew my hospital supported breastfeeding. The most important thing you can do before writing a birth plan is to visit your hospital to get a complete feel for it. Most things that are on birth plans are already done anyways. Other things are not an option, so know your hospital beforehand. Nurses respect birth plans, but writing one that is realistic will help your nurse follow it exactly how you want.

Most Hospitals:
-Offer the partner to cut the cord
-Do not give formula to a baby unless instructed to
-Place the baby on the mom's chest immediately after birth
-Require you to get an IV in case you need to be rushed to surgery
-Do not take the baby to the nursery, but place baby in bed next to yours
-Require baby to be monitored during labor (this can be done with a portable device so you can still walk around during labor).
-Do not give the baby a bottle unless instructed to
-Ask if students can observe, and you can say no
-Respect your decision to go without pain medication
-Will perform a C-section only if the life of the baby is in danger

The best birth plans are short and simple, but writing a long one is a great way to start and prepare yourself. If you want to give the nurses your birth plan, make it a short list. Create a longer one for you including everything from visitors, what to wear, pictures, medication, breastfeeding, and what you want to happen at home.

Your birth plan might not go exactly as planned, but this is what makes labor and delivery so much fun! The unknown is what keeps you on edge, helps you get through the pain, and gets you through the last pushes. No matter where your birth takes you, keeping a positive attitude will ensure you an experience you'll remember with a smile. If you refuse to except that you might have to get an IV or have baby suctioned out, then you might be a little disappointed in your birth.

Lincoln's birth did not go how I planned, but it was one of the happiest days of my life and I treasure the entire labor experience. He had a hole in his heart and was whisked away to the NICU before I could breastfeed him. After delivery, I didn't get to hold him again for two hours. A part of me is glad that I didn't have this huge birth plan with expectations written out. You might say "ignorance is bliss." I have read way too many birth stories about how a mom was "traumatized" by her hospital experience because she had to have an epidural, Pitocin, and couldn't eat. Those things shouldn't make your birth experience any less special or amazing. Be prepared, be open, and enjoy it because not everyone is blessed to give birth. I can't wait to experience labor again, and I am sure the next time around my birth plan will be the longest yet! I am already planning to go natural for my third. We will see! Hopefully in two years.



 

Breastfeeding Vs. Formula

I am not really sure why I have never blogged about this, but breastfeeding is a topic that is very intriguing to me. It fascinates me how passionate and defensive moms can be. I have read countless articles on why “Breast is Best!” Then the article lists several reasons on how your baby will be smarter and better bonded to you if you choose to breastfeed. These same articles argue how many moms give up too early and don’t try hard enough. If moms tried a little harder than they could do it.  It makes me angry. I am one of those moms! I didn’t breastfeed my oldest son after his first month; I must be a failure!

People often group moms into two different categories; breastfeeding moms and formula-feeding moms. While some moms argue that breastfeeding is the only way, formula moms try to defend their reasons for using formula. The problem with these two categories is there is another four groups of moms. Yes, I said four more. I will do the math for you, six categories of feeding moms!

The thing is, breastfeeding is not so black and white. It is complicated and full of surprises and many different challenges. I have been apart of four of these groups, and I feel this is a subject that can be very sensitive to many moms. No matter how your baby is fed, there is no wrong or right way. What matters most is your baby being loved and taken care of.

Breastfeeding is incredibly healthy and can provide many benefits to both mom and baby. But before you start judging the mom shaking a bottle filled with water and formula, you need to understand why. Let me start with the six categories, and then I will share my personal feelings and experience with breastfeeding.

1. Strictly Breastfeeding

This is the first category and is when an infant is breastfed until at least one year and given no formula or bottles.

2. Strictly Formula

This is when an infant is strictly given formula and never any amount of breast milk from day one.

3. Pumping breast milk

This is for moms who struggle to get their baby to latch or work away from home. Unable to breastfeed, they pump milk several times throughout the day. In my opinion it is the most exhausting of them all as it is double the work.

4. Breastfeeding with formula supplements

Some women for many unknown reasons cannot produce enough milk to feed their babies efficiently. While nursing their child, they also use formula to make sure baby is getting the nutrients to grow and develop safely.

5. Breastfeeding and then Formula

Many moms begin breastfeeding for a couple of months, but switch to formula sometime between the first month and the first year. It may be for work, convenience, latching struggles, or emotional reasons.

6. Moms who can’t breastfeed but want to

This is the last and the hardest category. This is the category that often gets overlooked. Some moms want so badly to be in category #1, but for whatever reason, they cannot breastfeed.

If you read through these categories you might find yourself in one that you never thought of before. Or maybe you are in another one not listed, or maybe in several categories. I have been in  #1, #3, #6, and shortly in #5.

I strongly support breastfeeding and believe that it holds more nutrients for an infant. Actually I don’t just believe it is more nutritious, I know that it is. Natural food is always healthier, but it is not always better. Those two statements might seem contradictory, but it is this confliction that separates us from animals and makes us human. While looking at breastfeeding factually, it would always be the better option. If you add in human mental, physical, environmental, or emotional health then it really depends.

Some women cannot breastfeed because of medications they are on that can be absorbed into their breast milk. Some women cannot breastfeed because the baby cannot latch. Some women cannot emotionally deal with the stress or pain that often accompanies breastfeeding in the first month. Some women work and the struggle to pump milk can physically exhaust them. Some women don’t have a choice. Before you make any judgments about a women’s decision to breastfeed or not breastfeed, you must remember that all good moms only want what is best for their child.

Before I had my first son, I was 100% for breastfeeding. It was what I would do, and mom’s who couldn’t do it were failures. I am more than thankful that I got to experience what it feels like to attempt breastfeeding and completely fail. It was this failure that made me a more open and understanding woman. It was formula feeding my son for a complete 11 months that made me realize that in the end, it doesn’t really matter. My son is incredibly smart. He is four and can read at a first grade level. He is social and has many friends. We have an amazing relationship and bonded quickly when I decided to quit breastfeeding. Yes, it was when I quit breastfeeding that we could bond. The frustration of trying to get him to latch accompanied by a feeling of being a bad mom, made it very hard to bond. When I stopped worrying about doing what the world told me was best and started doing what was best for us, I was able to relax and take care of my son. The most important thing to a child is to have a loving parent who cares for them. My second son I was able to breastfeed for ten months, and it was a wonderful experience that was completely different than with my first. Whatever you choose to do, it is always important to do what is mentally and emotionally healthy for both baby and mom.

Pregnant Hungry

I haven't found the need to blog here for a long time. It has been 18 months since I had Maverick and life has flown by. While I enjoy blogging about pregnancy, I felt silly blogging when I am not actually pregnant, but then I started getting pregnant-hungry! it seemed this was the best place to share my feelings. I want to be pregnant! The crazy part is I don't want a baby. Sounds absolutely insane! Who wants to endure morning sickness, stretch marks, weight gain, and awful hormones?  Well throw me in the crazy box, because this girl loves being pregnant. While it is hard, it always makes me feel so alive and aware of the things that really matter.

I have been browsing the Internet, reading stories and researching facts about pregnancy and birth. I have come across things that have shocked me and reinforced my beliefs in modern medicine during pregnancy, labor, and post-birth. I want to start spewing it all out now, but there is far too much to talk about. I will say that I am so thankful for the world I live in, and when you research birthing options you need to look at ALL the sides.

I never posted Maverick's Birth Story, but there it is!

Here is to posting randomly about any thoughts and feelings I have on pregnancy!



 

I should have my body back right?

Ever feel like after baby is no longer a newborn, people expect you to look as good(or better) as the day you got pregnant? Well I do! Maybe it's me being hyper sensitive and slightly dramatic but I feel this pressure that I need to be completely back to normal.

I have to CONSTANTLY remind myself that it has only been two-and-a-half months since having Maverick and I'm not going to be super model slim, have a six pack and a rockin,toned butt (not that I had these before, haha).

After my last post, I could not lose ANY weight! Like none! I was stuck at 125 for weeks. At six weeks I began running three or four times a week and I was seeing no results. After three weeks and the scale would not change, I gave up and decided to just be happy with that weight. I was feeling so frustrated and fat that I knew I needed to stop worrying about a stupid number on a stupid scale. I almost deleted this blog I was so annoyed by thoughts of weight loss (which I'm still debating about deleting since I have another blog and I am trying to figure out why to continue this blog when I'm not pregnant). I picked up yoga instead, a story for another post.

And then I went the other extreme. I have ate worse these past two weeks than I have in a long time. I'm talking a giant bowl of icecream with lots of chocolate syrup before bed, cookies for lunch and bags of candy, bought from WINCO candy bins, for snacking. Horrible. Absolutely horrible. And then guess what happened over these last two weeks of the worst diet ever?

I lost FOUR freaking pounds!

Like what the heck?!? I don't even know what to do with myself now. A part of me wants to rush to the store and buy every kind of candy I can think of, cause this diet is totally working! But another part of me(a very small but smart part) wants to buy broccoli and bananas in hopes of fixing what I've done to my heart and arteries.

I'm happy about losing those four pounds but I wanted it to be something I can be proud of instead of, "hey, I totally lost four pounds from eating garbage. Awesome right?".

Well here's to another six pounds that I hope to lose a little healthier.

A Little on Bonding and Depression

One of my big fears, and most moms', was that I wouldn't bond with Maverick because how could I ever love someone as much as Lincoln?

When Maverick was born I was overwhelmed with complete love. The three years of falling more in love with Lincoln every day was immediately felt for Maverick. I didn't need "time" to have my love for him match the love for Lincoln. The second night in the hospital, while Scott was at home with Lincoln, I held Maverick and began crying. I immediately began praying to my Heavenly Father. I thanked him repeatedly for sending me my precious gift, for trusting me as a mom and loving me so much that he would let me raise one of his children. I still thank him throughout the day for sending Maverick to our home where I know he will be loved and cared for. The next week after having Maverick I was on cloud nine. I kept thinking, "this is what life is about, this is what matters" and it was the first time, in months, where I wasn't thinking about bills or the worldly things I wanted.

Towards the end of my pregnancy I began to get depressed. Depression is something I never have and this monster was so new to me that I knew it was not normal. I've definitely felt "depressed" in my life but this was not situational, it was the real deal. I would cry all the time and overreact to the smallest things. I kept telling Scott I was depressed but I never did anything about it. I never blogged about it, never told my doctor and definitely never told friends or family because I was completely embarassed by it. I've always believed you could overcome sad feelings if you had the right attitude but I couldn't shake these feelings! In my mind I was a failure!

As I was dealing with depression, I became terrified that I would get post-partum depression and not bond with my baby or even worse, hurt my baby! I was positive I would fall into worse depression after having Maverick.

To my complete amazement, the exact opposite happened. Instead of depression, I felt positively joyous! Bonding was not even a thought, it was instant and natural. All those "sad feelings" vanished and I stopped crying (except when I was so constipated my insides were ripping apart!). I wish I would have talked more honestly on this blog, but I was too worried about people judging me. Having Maverick was the best thing to happen to me, I suddenly felt that I was "good enough" and that God did love me and knew I was a good person and a good mom. It's amazing what depression can do to your self-esteem! If you are suffering from depression, I urge you to speak to your doctor. I wish I would have, even if it was just for an understanding ear, it would have helped. Pregnancy hormones DO exist and they also go away.

Maverick is such a blessing and I know he came at the perfect time for our family. Every single time I look at him, my entire heart swells. I can't get enough of him!

Why did God bless me with two beautiful boys?
I guess I will never know, but I will trust his judgment.

4 Weeks Post-Pregnancy

4 Weeks Post Pregnancy

Today I stepped on the scale and I lost 2 pounds! Yay! I haven't ever mentioned my weight on here yet, but I want to be 100% open about my goals. Today I weighed 125, and that is a completely healthy weight, but for me to look and feel my best I want to weigh 115. So that leaves me 10 pounds to lose!

The last ten pounds are the hardest and I know that I will have to work to reach my goal. This last week I managed to lose 2 pounds, despite my random craving for homemade donuts. Lincoln and I fried up two dozen donuts and consumed them over three days. They were delicious! Even with that complete glutten failure, I cut back on overeating the rest of the week. Add that with breastfeeding and I lost two pounds.

Diet Goals: This week I am going to continue to keep it simple. I want to listen to my body and not eat second servings or starve myself for hours. I find eating when I'm hungry and stopping when I'm full does a lot more for me than counting calories. I hate counting calories! Hate it!

And for exercising.....
These past few days as I packed up the kids and went to the movies,scrubbed my house, blogged, wrestled Lincoln and cooked, I realized I felt like a "normal" mom. I wasn't dragging myself out of bed or popping movies in hoping for a quick nap, I wasn't worried about Maverick napping or wondering how much he was eating or when he last ate, I wasn't looking at loads of pooped on clothes or wondering when I was gonna shave my legs. I was living life the same as before I had Maverick or even before I got pregnant. The only difference was I now have one more baby to love and a lot more to do, but overall I am just being a normal mom with normal mom routines. As I was thinking about this, I decided it was time to start running.

I went for a twenty minute jog and probably did a shy short of two miles. I was surprised I even could run that far! It definitely worked me. How do I know it worked me? Well in the beginning I kept fixing my pony tail and adjusting my posture so I looked somewhat presentable for passing cars. At the end I was hunched over, my hair all over the place and my arms were swinging wherever the wind blew them while my hands repeatedly smacked myself in the chest. As cars drove by, probably laughing and pointing, I was darn proud of myself for running so hard I was literally falling apart. It felt good. Actually, it felt great!

Exercise goals this week:
Run two days
Work abs and arms two days
Work legs and butt two days

I'll post the workouts later when I do them.

I also will do better before photos. I want to really see the results in my arms, abs and legs. So not-so-sexy-photos are coming shortly.

Goals:
Diet
-Cut out hydrogenated oils
-Eliminate most processed foods
-Eat fruits and veggies daily

Exercise
-3 Months post pregnancy: Be running four times a week and five miles.

Three Weeks Post Pregnancy

Well baby is here and now I need to get my body back! So the blog continues on as my motivation to lose the weight and get in shape!

I gained 32 pounds throughout my pregnancy but only want to lose 27 pounds (because I am breastfeeding I need a little extra weight).

Anyways, when getting home from the hospital I stepped on the scale. Big mistake! I knew I shouldn't from experience with Lincoln, but I was just too curious.

Any guesses how much weight I lost after giving birth to at LEAST ten pounds of baby and other things?
Answer: Four pounds.
Yep four lousy pounds! Same thing happened with Lincoln. I was obviously swollen and retaining water (insert angry face).

One week went by and I was now down 14 pounds! It was coming off fast!

Two weeks went by and I was down 17 pounds and the weight loss was slowing down. My parents came and I ate like a pig!

When I stepped on the scale today, I was only down 15 pounds. I gained two pounds! Yep, I was definitely eating like a pig with the unrealistic belief that the weight would just keep coming off. I can assume all the baby and water weight has now fallen off and the remaining 12 pounds are gonna take some work.

With Lincoln I lost all of it, except five pounds, in one week. I believe I got cocky because over the next two months I GAINED ten pounds! Seriously Heather! I don't want that to happen.....again. I lost it all by five months, but it took an entire year to look the same as before. I was fortunate that my body only needed time and not work to lose the weight. I also lost an extra ten pounds! I think I looked darn good for being a mommy.

This time I want to lose it all by three months and plan on actually working towards that goal. By six months I want my body back.

Over the next three weeks I am going to focus on my diet until I can work out again. Hopefully I can lose a pound a week.

Then I am going to start working out and running. Those goals I will post later when the time comes.

I will report back here with my progress!

This is my before

My angel is totally worth the weight